being the family burden. I had a flashback last night in the middle of an argument with my mom and I was in and out the whole time. I stopped making any sense... I locked myself in my brothers closet and my grandfather was in my brothers room fixing the wall. My grandfather told me that I was in there for like 20 minutes crying "no no, please, i won't do it again, no, i'm sorry". He also said he tried to tell my mom that he didn't think I was all there, that he thought I had blacked out or something. But apparently she thinks I was trying to use my PTSD as an excuse.
I know I said some fucked up shit to my mom, I remember a lot of it. But I was scared and furious and confused so I was just saying anything I could think of. Now she'll only refer to me as her "room mate" and told me that if I can't pay half the bills that she's gonna take me to court for custody of my son and kick me out. All because of my fucking stupid no-good PTSD. I spent four years trying to pretend it doesn't exist, and the last 8 months I've finally been in treatment for it. But I lost my therapist two months ago and I'm trying to fend for myself and it's not working. It's gonna end up ruining my life.
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